Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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