moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
