goodnight i made you a song goodbye
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Someone shattered a urinal.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
