WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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