and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize