I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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