I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
