OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
