I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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