You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
