My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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