I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
