if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Let's get the cat blown out
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
