I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
