that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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