But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
