Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
