This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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