there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
