Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
