worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He shit in the fireplace
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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