Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize