I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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