Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
