a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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