he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
