I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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