I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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