haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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