why do cheetos always look like penises
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
