I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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