dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
