He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
