you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
