Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
