Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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