Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
