yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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