Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
