He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
