u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
