I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
