What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize