you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
