yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize