okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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