You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
