You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
