Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
