I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
