Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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