Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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