We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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