I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
