Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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