I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
