Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
