A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
