Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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