Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
