She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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