There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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