hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
