she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
