the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
