Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
