this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
