Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
