"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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