it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize