so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
