Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
