do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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