you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
